7 Items to Remember (Also known as the Disclaimer)

All right, folks. I bet you’re wondering why I decided on a disclaimer. Well, just to clear some things up. It’s not (only) because the cool kids are doing it. For the tl;dr version, scroll down.

1) For starters, all layouts, coding and otherwise, are made by me, unless otherwise stated. If there are any outside resources, inspirations or something else, I will credit them. I’m not going to say “don’t steal the coding”, because really, I didn’t write (X)HTML. Some folks from several million web years ago did. If you like what you see, then fine, check out the source. However, don’t blatantly swipe everything. Make it your own! Creativity is sexy.

2) I will cuss. I am not a religious person, so cussing/swearing/bad words/cursing/whatever the fuck you call it is prominent and imminent. I don’t believe in censorship, especially in blogs. If you’re not big on mild, but foul at times, language, then it’s best to walk away. This is not to say that the word “fuck” comes up every two words (not usually anyway). This is just to say that if you’re at work surfing my site, and they see the word “fuck”, you had better bullshit your way into not getting fired.

3) There will be no porn, hate, or homophobic references. There will be talks of sex, masturbation, horniness, and sex toy use, however I will not go into detail. You needn’t know what I do to pleasure myself. That’s no one’s business. As for hate, I will show dislike for certain things and people, but that is as far as I’ll do. No Bush threats here (no matter how tempted I might be [and I’m not–so don’t bite my head off]).

4) Since I was born, bred, and beat in New York, I will be using U.S. English, maybe some New York dialect as well. However, I have a tendency to spell “theater” “theatre”, and I believe that might be a British spelling because it considers it wrong on my Firefox spell check, but I don’t give a shit. But in reality, yeah. There will be no chatspeak, tweentalk, or anything of that matter, unless it is used in sarcasm. It would mostly be the word “pwn” or “hai” because hai, “pwn” is pure pwnage.

5) This site has sponsored posts. The full Disclosure Policy is located here. The paid posts help keep the site up every month. Do you have to comment on them? Nah, only if you want to. Most likely there will be a non-sponsored post after that one, so you don’t have to. Also, you probably wouldn’t able to tell, because a lot of them are actually stories.

6) Seeing as this site is slowly turning into a full-out writing portfolio, please respect the writer’s work, and do not duplicate and distribute anything you see here without my permission. If I see anything, especially The War of the Seasons/As Told By Shadow series (mainly because that’s my favorite series, and I’m thinking of extending it), posted elsewhere, I will find the motherfucker and chop their sexual gratification tool off and feed it to Link, my [W:Jack Dempsey (fish)]. He’d have a ball with it (enter rimshot). Okay, so I won’t do that. But seriously, don’t do it.

7) While my intentions aren’t to offend, I understand that I may. That does not mean that you should flame me. This also means that I’m going to apologize if I do offend. However, if you are easily offended by anything from anywhere, then this site is definitely not for you. Hell, the Internet might not be for you. Otherwise, I hope you enjoy yourself. 🙂

TL;DR version: All layouts are created by me, I will cuss–a lot sometimes, I’m a lover; not a hater, I’m American; I’ll speak English with a few exceptions, I get paid somehow through this site, my Jack Dempsey loves to eat the testicles of plagiarizers, and I’m sorry if I offend. Enjoy!

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