So I’m here thinking about a few things. My mom has a thing about those with mental illness. Like if I were to meet someone (and seeing as I’m in this program, I do) and plan to date them, she’s pretty much said “don’t”. Her thing is that I will meet a “normal” person. That’s what gets me. What the hell is normal anyway?
I heard a quote that says “Everyone is everyone’s weird”…or something along those lines. And while it sounds like something that a drunk person would say, it actually makes sense. I mean, who is to say that one person is “normal”, whereas another is “weird”? I’ve been called weird a few times myself. I’ve come to terms that I am weird…but so is the person who says it. Seriously, yeah, I have my quirks. That’s what makes me…me. You have your quirks. That what makes you…you. So what the hell is normal? No such thing.
Now going back to what I said about my mom and the whole thing about people with mental illnesses. Well, first of all, she was in denial (still is actually) when I was diagnosed with a mood disorder. Her thing was when I went into the hospital last year was that now they (being potential employers and the like) are going to label me “crazy” and “drugged up” and shit like that. For the record, if you don’t want to disclose anything, then you don’t really need to. She never got that part of it. But anyway, now that I have friends who are bipolar, depressed, and whatever, she was quick to pretty much say “you can have them as friends, but nothing more”. WTF? What’s wrong with a person with a mental illness that I can’t date them? See, if I didn’t make this post, would you have pinpointed me with a mood disorder? No? I don’t think so. As someone puts it, those who have mental illnesses have chemical imbalances, and with medication and therapy, most can live a functional life. Most can be…shall I say…”normal”. “Normal” in the sense of “functional”.
I think what she’s trying to do is to protect me from violent people. That’s the whole stigma of it all. If you’re violent, you must be “crazy”, or vice versa. It’s the media putting these images and stuff in people’s minds saying that all people with mental illnesses are violent and should be avoided at all costs. Granted, there are a few that are violent, and they are institutionalized for months, and even years. But statistically (and you will rarely hear me say this word), most criminals are sans mental health problems. Provided that I’m going to be 22 in 3 weeks, and haven’t been on a date in 3 years, maybe she needs to let me open more doors to other people. If I were to wait around for someone who has no issues (which is impossible, by the way), I would be 80 years old, single, with 50 cats. So if it turns out that my next partner has a mental illness, then so be it. She still has to love me, no?
So there you have it. What is normal? Erm…there’s no such thing. Everyone is everyone’s weird. So even if you run into someone who claims that they are “normal”, you’d probably look at them as weird for even claiming that. I know I would.
All right folk. Despair was down for what seems like a month (I think it was only two weeks or something?), so I didn’t get a shitload of comments on the last blog. But it’s only fair to get over it, and start on another one. So here it is. It’s already longer than it really should be, but I’m sorry. I have to get it out now because I can assure you if I were to wait a few days, I would forget what the hell I wanted to say.
It has been warm this week. It was in the 40’s, and yeah, it’s still a bit brisk, but comparing that to last week, that ain’t shit. There’s still ice on the ground, only because the snowplows moved all of it to the side of the road, and it’s been so freaking cold, so it couldn’t really melt. It did do loads of melting though. The only problem is that it still gets to below freezing at night, so whatever melts turns back to ice. Biggest culprit is black ice. I almost fell and busted my ass a few times yesterday. It was not fun. I was walking like a penguin, and I still was skating…forcefully. Only two months until we can put this behind us. Please let it be earlier. Please…
This week I also went on an interview with a temp job agency. I heard that there was a data-entry position, so I was like “hey, I have nothing to lose. Let’s do it.” So I went out to Manhattan in 25-degree weather, and went there. They tested me for typing skills and stuff. For the numeric data-entry test, I was off by 1,000-some keystrokes an hour…or some shit (they wanted 5,000 KSH). Everything else was cool–did pretty well overall. Basically he said to give my doctor some papers to document my mood disorder and the like. I read over what he said (he says I have impaired judgment–sounds like that Snickers commercial when that guy asked the old lady out on a date), and I’m supposed to fax it and a resume back to them. As it is known, I can’t remember shit, so I have it in my bag, and it’s not faxed yet, but it will get done. After that…who knows? I might get that position, or another one. It’s a “wait and see” thing right now. It’s a bittersweet transition if it happens, but hey, I’ll be getting paid. I’ll get over it.
I’ve been working feverishly on P739. Mostly hacks though. I haven’t made a theme for a board in ages (well, actually I made one for Re-Told about two months ago), so I’m a bit rusty…so I’m going to need help with theme making. So if you’re good at that stuff, check back here, and over at P739 in a week or so. It’s the only side project I’ve been working on so far (that, and the stuff for Antihero). That, and I’m starting a new theme for over here, and it won’t be released anytime soon because I am taking a stab at a very,very complex layout. I have the vision. Let’s see if it comes out the way I want it. Don’t you hate when you visualize how you want a layout and when you actually put it on canvas it looks nothing like what you visualize? It pisses me off actually.
All right, seeing as this looks like a 1,000+ word post, I’m going to stop torturing you, stop typing, and start playing Twilight Princess. Ciao.