Some things will bring back good memories, some things will bring back bad, others will bring back the most fucked up memories. But all it comes down to is that we all have memories, and we should not try to deny or block them out.
I take the bus past a block every day. I remember going to the off-track betting place with my father when I was about 2 or 3, and next to the OTB is this trailer that was also a mini-candy store. I remember going into that trailer. I remember being in the trailer with these grown men, but I was fearless. They actually took care of me while my father went into the OTB and did what he had to do. They never even tried to do anything to me. All they did was give me loads of candy, lol. Just passing that area every day just brings that back.
Certain foods are nostalgic to me as well. Fried clams remind me of my best friend and our high school bowling team. I used to order fried clams when we went to the alley, and my best friend absolutely hates fried clams. But I absolutely love it, and I used to do it just to annoy the holy hell out of her. When I was tired of clams (or when they were fresh out–and that pissed me right off), I would get a grilled Swiss cheese sandwich. Beef patties and Sprite reminds me of when I was in junior high school and I would get it after school and go to the newspaper club. However, mac and cheese reminds me of that year (I was two) when I had a stomach bug and I threw up whole noodles (apparently I didn’t know the concept of chewing my food before swallowing), so I don’t eat it unless it’s baked; calamari, which I fell in love with when my sister ordered it at The Olive Garden, reminds me way too much of him, so trying to eat it is kinda hard without remembering him. Which is fucked up, but cualquier.
I don’t know why I had this sudden spark of nostalgia, but I guess it’s good to look back a bit. There are some memories that I do not want to remember, but if I do try to block it out, it would just hurt more. So I leave it be. Furthermore, if I just blocked out all the bad memories I had, I wouldn’t be the woman I am now. I’d just be a mere shell of a person without a past. I don’t want that.
All right, I’m making it my point to blog more often. Sometimes I have ideas of blogs, and I just let it slip by because it would screw up my whole…pattern of things. But this is getting ridiculous. I get a bit antsy when people don’t update for weeks (or even months) on end (*coughs*Angel*coughs*), but I realize that I’m not any better. I don’t mean to do it really–but it just so happens that I have nothing better to do but to read up on other people’s lives because my life is boring as shit. (That last sentence was a bit sarcastic…my bad) So I’m going to try a little harder to blog more. I mean it this time.
I think it was the last post where I spoke of droolworthy guys I’d like to fuck. Here’s a small update–neither are at the program. Or at least not now. I scared them away. Go figure, I have a knack for that, lol. It’s all good though. Wait…no, it’s not. *cries*
Online, I haven’t done much in the past week. I am working on a new layout for Unorthodox Host. So far, so good. It took me about an hour to get the navigation right, but I got it now…or at least in Firefox. I’ll continue working on it a little more though. I am not releasing the look of it at all. It’s slightly more professional…with a hint of unorthodox to it.
So basically, my life has been not too uneventful as of late, but it’s still boring. I need to get out more, but hey, can’t get everything you want, no?