Do you masturbate?

Hehe, can you imagine the interesting search keywords I’m going to have after this entry? I can’t wait!

I had an interesting…and rather offensive and scary…trip to the psych’s on Wednesday. We’re talking and I tell him, in no kind of detail whatsoever, I tell him that I have bad luck with romance. That’s all I said. He asked my sexual preference and I told him. I mean, it’s kind of routine for them to ask, so I wasn’t too phased by it. But now, I thought that was it. Then he asks the one question that even my mother doesn’t ask me (but I think that’s because she has no idea what it is).

“Do you masturbate?”

I was taken aback by the question, so I was like “say what now?” And he repeats it.

Now, I understand the sexual preference question. That didn’t phase me much. But asking me if I masturbate? That is none of your business, man! That was just…ugh. I was ready to get the fuck out of there.

It’s not the first time I got fucked up psychiatrists. You heard about the quack I had 2 months ago, but before that, I seemed to have attracted the psychiatrists who need psychiatrists themselves.

The very first one I had was giving me hidden messages. Hidden messages about what? He was fricken hitting on me. I brushed it off, but every time I left his office, I shuddered because this man is about as old as my father. At the same time, I was kind of desenitized because I was always hit on by much older men, even when I was like 12. It still bothered me though.

The second one wasn’t too bad. As a matter of fact, she was the tamer one out of the 5. But she was a lecturer. I don’t need a lecturer. I don’t listen to it anyway. I go into “blahblah” mode after 1 minute. She went on for 30 times as long, so needless to say, I didn’t hear a thing. But it wasn’t shit that I was interested in anyway.

The third one was…well, all he was after was the insurance money. Every time I would go to him, he would ask me the same question: “Is your insurance straightened out?” Um…at the time I didn’t have any, so I was paying out my pocket. He saw me every two weeks (which isn’t necessary, by the way), and he asked the same question every time. I only went to him for about a month and a half, but that was all I could take from him.

The fourth quack. The one I bitched about on the site a few times. Her line was “You have no motivation”, and she was convinced that the medication wasn’t making me gain weight. Among other faux pas is her (in)famous line involving building a website on paper. The day that bitch teached me how to do a website on paper will be the day I stopped web designing on the computer. Since that isn’t possible, then…chyeah, she was a flake.

Now this one who has a knack for asking personal questions. Had I said “yes”, would he have asked me if I use a vibrator or my finger? I don’t understand why it would matter since it doesn’t do anything for me, but still. Lay off the personal questions please.

I’m sorry I haven’t done anything to the site. I am going to actually work on coding the layouts I have. I know I’ve been saying it, but I want to. I also need to work on the little problem with Flora. It seems like the one theme I’m actually proud of is fucking me up lovely. People can’t comment on that theme. I need to figure that one out.

I also nixed Melodramática. Well…not nixed completely. Just a change of plans. I will not say any more about that, but I’m also moving my writing section to what would have been Melodramática’s home. Yes, I do suck, I know, but I’m working on that. Not to mention that I had to downsize Project 739 for the moment. I explained it more there. I am not done with that at all, so best to not do anything over there until I say so.

Well, that’s all for now. I need to cut this short (LMAO!!!) so that I can get cracking on other things.:mrgreen: Have a wonderful week, and I hope that your Friday the 13th was well. With that, I leave you with the words of the moment:

Paraskevidekatriaphobia: Fear of Friday the 13th
Triskaidekaphobia: Fear of the number 13

13 thoughts on “Do you masturbate?”

  1. Oh my if I EVER had a person like that, thats suppose to help me and stuff i’d shoot myself rofl. I am curious as to what he’d ask if you said yes …. hmm i’m going to stay wondering rofl. I’ve had two and the first lady was just weird and had a very strong accent from out of the country so I couldn’t understand her and the second one was excellent(:

  2. Wow psych’s are so weird. I used to have one who asked me some pretty personal stuff but she never asked me something like that. I probably would have laughed in his face and been like, “WHAT??”

  3. Hey Nat 🙂 I am so sorry to hear about your problems with psychiatrists. It really surprises me that all five were odd in their own ways. When I was younger, I always wanted to visit one but did not have the opportunity to… and now that I hear about this, I’m like “Wow!” I certainly hope you don’t go back to him and find a better one 🙂

  4. I would have answered his question – I have no idea what he wants to base on the answer but most people masturbates but deny’s it when asked – so I guess no matter what you answered – it would be pretty ok.

    I hope you will find a less intimidating psych if you wish though 🙂

  5. yikes questions like that truly border on rude. good on you for not answering the question. it jus sounds wrong coming from a psych.
    the one about building a website on a paper, what a classic. it also reminded me that i’ve been to your blog before. hehe…
    and yes dark choc rules. big time. 🙂 cheers!

  6. I’m going to give your psych the benefit of the doubt and just say that it was probably a slightly routine question when it comes to romance issues. I can see how it could be I guess. I don’t think he did it to make you uncomfortable, but I would probably have been taken aback as well. Take care.

  7. That’s a very personal question and I can’t figure out why he would ask you that. I don’t think it’s any of their business as to what you do or don’t do in the privacy of your own bedroom. Seriously, I think I would’ve slapped him.

  8. I know they are supposed to ask questions and blah blah blah… but wow that is a bit much and considering your history with others I don’t blame you for freaking out I would have too. I mean, I know they are supposed to ask personal questions but thats a bit much!

  9. What exactly was his tone when he asked you? Maybe it’s a common thing to ask now considering that you are an adult… but still… LOL I’m assuming you’re not there for sexual therapy of any kind so I can see how something like that would definitely make you uncomfortable and off-guard.

  10. If anyone asked me that question, I’d burst out laughing. WTF was with him? ew..

    as for project 739? what is that? sounds interesting! hehehe

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