I’m a horrible webmistress!

I am horrible. I haven’t updated in so long. Haven’t had much to say really. So that’s probably why. Wait, no…I’m supposed to be switching servers and I’m waiting for the switch. Trying to get a lower price on the server, but it’s not happening. Well, they gave me a price, but I still can’t afford it, unless more people buy, which isn’t happening at this moment in time. I swear it…new quote: “I succeed at failing”. It’s days like this where I just want to leave the internet. But I realize that if I do that, I’m going to miss web design, and probably go completely nuts.

So yeah, that’s my explanation.

I went to an orientation for another program that can help me find a job, go back to school, and stuff like that. Since I want to do both, I’m very much interested in going. I need to set a visit date, where I can visit for the whole day, and get a feel. A few people who are in this day treatment with me went for the visit and said that they enjoyed it. It’s worth a try. I’m trying to get the fuck outta this program by August. We do nothing over there in day treatment. We have one group that last 45 minutes that revolves around mental illness, which I need not to hear about anymore. I got enough of that shit while I was inpatient and in the partial hospital. Then we get a 15 minute break where we recreate. Then we have another group about fricken medications with this doctor who told me to do my websites “on paper” (dumbass). Then we have lunch. One hour, and the food is shit (fucking sandwiches. On wheat bread), so I look forward to going out to eat. Yesterday I had a chicken fajita wrap. Costs me about 6 bucks, but it filled me. Then we have another group.

I probably wouldn’t have a problem if 1)the groups weren’t so big–I have problems with large groups of people. Which is also why I had to quit Target, or 2) the groups were actually fun. We talk about the same shit..about mental illness. We’ve all established that we have one. Maybe you want to learn more, but I’m actually pretty sick of it. There’s only one or two people I speak to in that whole group. It’s not that I don’t want to, but a lot of them are much older than me. I’m not the youngest (I think the youngest is 20), but there’s a 50-year-old there. We can’t relate…at all. And it’s kinda scary.

Eh, whatever. I’m counting down till August. Then my narrow black ass is out.

All right, so I bet you’re wondering about ProjectSEX. I have ideas for it. Well, for starters, I only got one name suggestion. Wait, no…I got more, but they’re from the same person. But only one stuck out like a sore thumb…for lack of better term. So, the new name for ProjectSEX is now…

Project 739. She decided to keep the “Project”, and added the 739. Had she not mentioned what 739 meant, then I would be as lost as you are right now. But I’ll tell you what it means.

739. Look on your phone. At the letters. You see what it spells if you dial out that number? You may not think it’s clever, but I do, lol. For those who can’t figure it out, 739=SEX. So if it becomes a success, I might buy a domain name (project739.com) for it. But until then, I’ll have it on a subdomain.

As for my other secret project, I haven’t even touched it since forever. I had a layout for it, but I might scrap it.

I ended up closing Entropy. I didn’t want to, but I gave a one-week ultimatum–if it doesn’t become at least semi active within a week, then I would have no choice than to close it. Remember that quote up there? “I succeed at failing”? That refers to this venture as well. I can’t get an active board. So I’m giving up on message boards. I love owning one, but it seems to me that unless I get some really super active members, really talented theme makers, and the like, it just won’t stand out. So…yeah.

That’s pretty much it. Can’t think of anything else to say. Sorry to be all depressing and shit, but I’m bummed about a lot of shit.

38 thoughts on “I’m a horrible webmistress!”

  1. Orientations are always fun. Well, that’s what I think anyway. You should stay for a day and get a feel of everything. That’s the best thing that you could do. 😛

  2. Gah, I know how it is when you have to close sites down. However, usually, my projects don’t really even get unveiled to the public. I usually get irritated halfway through, and just trash the whole idea.

    Project 739 sounds interesting. I’d totally be interested in seeing where you go with this idea.

  3. Sorry about your group. Sounds like it sucks major! I had to go through a whole term of learning about depression – and afterwards I wouldn’t have been surprised if some mental health doctor called to tell me I had depression. The subject of mental illnesses is a touchy one. The mind is a weird part of us all. One thought and our lives could be changed forever.

    Sorry to hear about your messageboards as well. But I’ve been to so many that are just the same ol’ shit. I may join another one day, but for now… I won’t.

    Hope things turn around for you!

  4. Hey Nat. Project 739 sounds great. 😀 I’ll join!

    I’m sorry you had to close EMB. I was so so busy with things not related to the Internet, that I neglected even my domain. I’m sorry, babe. Maybe when things are easier, we can open a new MB.

    Love ya lots.


  5. 739 does sound very interesting… I had a little peek at the site, and I must say the idea is very appealing. I mean, sure, I’m only 18, but I understand what you mean about the 13 and 14 years olds not being able to relate to a lot of the stuff I want to discuss. I’m very interested, and will keep popping back in to check for updates – good luck with it, and if I can help with anything get in touch :mrgreen:

  6. sorry to hear that the group is a snooze. just one more month anyway 🙂 i like your site a lot, you seem really interesting. i like that name project 739, the 739 is pretty clever. heh. take care.

  7. If anyones horrible its me, i rarely ever comment you. 739 is pretty clever if you hadnt have mentioned about the numbers on a phone i would spend days trying to figure it out.
    One more month in that group wont kill anyone. Anyways g’luck
    finding a group that suits.

  8. 😀 Hey Nat! That group sounds like shit. It’ll be good to see where you go with Project739! Interesting name. Smart idea with the “739”, awesome idea. 😀

    You’ve been tagged! See my site for intrustions. 😀

  9. Ah, I had to go through the same kind of stuff with hospitals and all that jazz a few years back… And to keep a long story short, it SUCKED. They were clueless, and I couldn’t relate to the people at all, either.. And they were actually my age, but yeah..

    Anyway, It’s kind of weird, because I’ve actually been looking into programs like that lately as well. I want to find away of doing the things I want to do in a way that’s right for me. It’s difficult when you have things that hold you back, and this group you’re in right now sounds like all it is doing is holding you back more. Argh.

    Pft.. It’s funny when people act like they know what they’re talking about, but really they don’t have any clue. Hence that website on paper comment. Morons.

    I wish you the best of luck finding something that is right for you and with reaching your goals.

    That’s too bad about your message board. 🙁 How long have you been running it? Maybe it just needs more time to grow? Well, anyway, best of luck with whatever you decide to do.

    I like the new name for ProjectSEX.. 🙂

    You shouldn’t feel bad for feeling down. We all need to let it out sometimes.

    I hope things start picking up for you.

  10. I am sad to hear that your group is bad – but maybe you should try attending with a more posetive attitude yourself – maybe it will have a contagious effect on the others. Maybe it not so much about relating to a 50 year old – but maybe you could learn something from eachother.

    Good luck with your project.

  11. Ugh. I hate boring meetings. The ones I’ve been to are always so unproductive and just make me want to fall asleep or play on my cellphone. I know what you mean about not being able to relate to a 50 year old… I think to be able to have an atmosphere conducive to discussion, you need to trust the people you’re talking with. That trust is usually semi-inherent when dealing with people your own age, because you know you’re nearly on the same square. But with older people you just don’t know what to expect, so it’s harder to make that connection. Best of luck though! The Project739 thing is pretty clever. And I can’t believe that guy told you to do websites “on paper”… what?

  12. Aww, Nat. The group thing sounds like a drag, but I’m sure you’ll get through it and you’ll look back and be like pfff. Ew, I quit walmart cause of being nervous around so many people pretty much, but I really need to just get over it and stop. I called a daycare place today to see if theyre hiring and theyre taking applications so I’m going to apply there soon. I like little kids for the most part, so it could be fun.

    The Project 739 is pretty clever, I think. Forums are a drag to own, I usually like them at the beginning and then get tired of putting themes and stuff up and then I’m all blahhh.

  13. Orientations can be at the same time fun and nervewrecking.

    I kinda dislike big groups of people, but when you’re at a party, it kills a lot of time! Lol.

    Good luck with that project. I’ve heard of a similar one before asking me for a link exchange to a clique that I own, but I don’t remember it being all that active or popular. So best of luck!

  14. yes project 736 does sound interesting! ive never heard of it so theres not really much i can say lol good luck with your project tough and keep up the good work with your site it looks amazing!

  15. That sucks about your group and I’m also sorry that you had to close your MB down.

    Project 739 sounds really interesting. I love the name. I would of never thought of that.

  16. That’s a lovely quote, i think i’ll put it on my msn one of these days…

    Project 739 is a VERY clever title, good luck on it!

  17. First off, it’s been a long as time since you last updated. How do I know this? Because I read this entry awhile, but decided I would comment after I updated. Anyway, it sucks that the server didn’t work out for you. Once I get m finances in order I may consider splitting a server with you, but we’ll see. I can’t wait to see Project 739 and you know that I’ll always be here to help you out with it. Anyway, you need to get unlazy and get on AIM more often, there are people who want to talk to you, like me for instance. ^_^

  18. project 739 is a lot better than project sex.. project sex is definitely misleading and might be a turn off for some people. but project 739 is very clever 🙂 in middle school everyone had secret number codes for words like sex and love.. ohh the days

  19. ProjectSex sounds interesting (and I like the renaming of 739, that’s quite clever), I’ll have to keep checking back to see when it’s up! I’m sorry to hear your message board didn’t work out (although maybe I’ll see you more at Euphoric now!)…it’s always kinda sad when e-projects don’t go as planned. Anyway, best of luck with finding a program/group that suits you!

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