Emotional rollercoaster

It makes me happy to see that Despair is doing me oh so good. 15 comments! You guys are le fuck.

So anyway, I thought that I would blog since it’s been a week, and I know this one right here would tell me to update, so before she does, I’m doing it.

The past week hasn’t been very eventful since I go to work and come back home, lol. What fun, lol. But what I can tell you is that even though I was hoping and hoping that it wouldn’t come, that time where I become an emotional wreck came. One week before my birthday. I was just…ugh. All those pent up feelings are finally coming out about my job and shit. Y’all know how I feel. I’m not getting paid enough to deal with customers who ask stupid questions like “are you open?”. No bitch, I’m closed, and I’m going to stay here for the rest of my shift while you figure out why my FUCKING LIGHT IS ON!! I just wish to say that. But of course I can’t. Because if I do, they’d think I’m crazy and put me in a mental institute right away.

Then I ended up crying at some point in my shifts. Why? I don’t even know. I think it’s fear that I’ll be stuck here forever or something of that nature. Obviously I don’t want to even be here much longer, but what’s keeping me here is the fact that what I really want to do is harder to find jobs without a bachelors in web design. I’ve been looking at The Job God for a good minute for web design gigs and stuff like that. I think I can do it. I just need the credentials. Which is why I need to go back to school. But like my mom always says…

Nothing happens before its time…

32 thoughts on “Emotional rollercoaster”

  1. I hate my job sometimes too. But since you obviousely have a customer-service type role – you win! lol.. those are the worst jobs!
    Good luck with the web-design jobs!! Why not do a part time class to get a qualification? 😉

  2. *hugs* You’ll find a good job! You won’t be stuck at the same crappy job forever. I’ll bug you until it happens. There are so many opportunities in the city, you’ll get lucky and find the right one for you.

  3. Aw I’m sure you’ll find another job soon, you won’t be stuck in this one for the rest of your life!

    Haha, yeah, “Are you open?” is quite a stupid question. I think your response would be hilarious, but probably not very much appreciated :mrgreen:

  4. hehe i love despair and xposure as well… it made me giddy to see me crack 20 comments X)

    i kinda wish i had a job so i can moan and bitch about it in my blog
    my blog is lacking anything interesting +_+
    i hope you can find a job of your liking soon =)

  5. I know exactly how you feel at your job. Some days, I just try my best to stay clear of customers. I, too, am currently having an eye out for a new job. I wish you the best.

  6. *hugs* Hang in there! Know that you won’t be stuck there forever, bigger and better things are always bound to come your way, it just takes a little time sometime. Happy early birthday too by the way.

  7. If you’re not too busy later I’m having some trouble with the member cards hack. 🙁 It works but whenever I try to access it so I can view all the member’s cards, it says I’m not permitted ti view it?

  8. Well, hey someone needs to get on your ass to update, lol. Anyway, I’m so sorry about your job, but we’ve all been there, believe me. When I was working at Dennys I was not getting paid enough to deal with the shit I had too, so hopefully when I go job hunting I can find a job that’s actually worth the bullshit. I need to go back to school too, but like your mom says all things will happen when they are meant too.

  9. {{hugs}} Trust me I know what you’re going through. I’ve been at my current job for a year and a half with no raise no benefits and get cussed out by customers for things my co-workers fail to do. Just keep looking for a better oppertunity.

  10. I’m the same way! I go to school and then come home and that’s about it. I know how much it sucks but I guess we do what we have to do. I hope things look up for you though and you can be a little happier.

  11. ahh if youre job isnt fun/ happy to be with, then why even stay if the pay isnt that good?! you should always be happy with your job; number 1 priority.

  12. I know how it feels to think that you will be stuck at a job forever. I am beginning to HATE my job but I know I will be there a long time.

  13. Ah yes. I like despair too. D:
    Don’t worry about the job. If it’s getting on your nerves you should try looking for another. -hugs-
    All the best!

  14. Eugh I know what it’s like to have a crappy job where people come to your till and ask “are you open?” all the time. Sigh. Lashing out at customers is a great thing to fantasize about… I wish I could do it sometime.

    Anyway, maybe you’ll find a better one… you can’t stay at a job like that your whole life…well you could. But I’m sure you’ll find something better to do in the future before you get old like the old ladies I work with who have been there since the store opened in 1970…

    -Andrea (xposure)

  15. Awe hun it’s okay. We all have had those days. I’m sure everything will get better for you. Just keep your head up. By the way, I hope you have a fabulous birthday. I wish you many years more! Take care, be good. Have fun & relax. 🙂

  16. I hated all my previous jobs, too. One in particular was selling tickets at the movie theater. Most often heard questions, “What do you mean sold out? (exactly what it says… SOLD OUT=NO MORE TICKETS), I have to pay for my 2 year old… she/he won’t even understand the movie or he/she will be sitting in my lap (That’s not my problem, leave the kid at home next time), What times is that movie playing (ummm, do you know how to read the times on the board yourself?), etc) I really wanted to kick some people for their obvious stupidity. Thank god I’m done with cashier type jobs and will be graduating to become a dental assistant at the end of this week. Stay in there, girl, & just look forward to going back to school to get your credentials to do what you truly enjoy.

  17. I’ve never had a job before but I can defiantly understand your situation. I personally think its healthy to break down like that every so often, cus if you dont –you explode. But then again,when you do break down , there isnt really any chance of stopping. Ah well, I hope it gets better for you 🙂

  18. Yea despair.nu is doing some great job .. I almost can keep all the comments Im getting .. lol. Im use to having like 7 or 8 comments a week .. 😉

    Sorry you’r job sucks but hang in there .. Im sure better things will come up ..

    Also happy belated birthday x

  19. You should go back to school if that’s what you need to do. You’d be great at a job with web design. I really like your site.

  20. Hope your job goes well. Try and look for something else, waitressing is quite fun. but have a good birthday sounds like you need it x

  21. Yeah, Despair’s been doing me good, too.

    Damn. Your job must suck, hm? I hope you have a good birthday though, you deserve to feel good on your birthday 🙂

    Why can’t you just go back to school? :\ Hope you do find a better job. 🙁

  22. I hope you had a Happy Birthday, and good St. patty’s day at that too! i like my job because it’s easy and the people are great, but i’m definately not getting paid enough due the fact i’ve been there forever and i haven’t got one rasie, besides the provincial minimum wage hike.

  23. Where to start? I guess first, I’m pretty much feeling the same way you are. Frustrated with my current situation. I’m also really interested in doing web design as a career, but don’t have the credentials, even though I know I could do it without them. I’m assuming your birthday has passed now, so happy belated birthday! Hopefully that cheered you up a bit! 🙂

  24. You are an incredibly, genuinly cool person, so props to you! I hope everything works out. I have moments like that alot, when all the shit just gets to heavy and you need to break down and cry for a bit. I hope you get a job in web design cuz this site is the stuff. good luck chick! much love!
    -Kari-

  25. Ugh, makes me remember why I hated working in retail so much. Hopefully you’ll be able to move on soon, it not to a job you love then at least one you can tolerate.

  26. Don’t you just llllovvvvveeeeeeeee customers? That’s why I love my job now – I don’t have any contact with clients (yes, we don’t even have customers; we have other company’s clients!) except over the phone. Ahh, bliss. Sorry, but just, blech… after six years of the fast food industry and retail, I am done.

    Anyway. I’m sorry to hear that you’re stressing so much about work. :/ Try not to let it get to you. Sucky customers aren’t worth it.

  27. update update!

    i read your info – you’re awesome. haha, i was born in the ghetto too. it sounds reatarded coming from a white girl, but it’s true – not jamaica queens though lol. ahhh, childhood memories of the projects and waking up to gunshots at 2am and roaches scattering as you turn on the light. lmao!

    i was wondering – why will this be your last domain for 2 years?

  28. I hope everything will work out just fine. About Despair.nu – I also like it very much (just a little bit more than Xposure). Comments are fun, but I really like the fact you stumble upon nice blogs once in a while.

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